goals mindset perspective Feb 24, 2020


I sat down with a cup of coffee and my journal and I wrote across the top of the page, “If not now, when?” 


I was thinking about all the areas where I have lacked discipline and have yet to conquer my own slothful ways.  


And then I stopped. 


What the hell!?  Why did I write that across the top of my page?  That is total crap!  I had just done to myself the thing I ranted against last week. 


Let me share the story and it will illustrate what I am talking about… 


We have recently instituted a Team LOTUS Pilate class on Monday nights.  To the guys reading this, I know, we are such girls, but what I can I say!? 


On the way out of the class, one of the ladies gave me a big hug and thanked me for introducing her to pilates and making this private class a reality.  She was feeling energized and grateful. 


As I walked toward my car another one of the ladies said, “That was great.  It just makes me realize that I need to do more.  I should have been doing it all along. I don’t know why I can’t get myself on track.” 


Keep in mind that we now have a standing Monday night class every week and she just got a gym membership and started going a couple of additional days a week. 


I turned to her and asked, “What are you doing!?  You just did something positive.  You should be celebrating that fact, not berating yourself for what you didn’t do or haven’t done yet.” 


I was kind of snotty about it.  Definitely not my most empathetic moment.  I was right, but I was acting as though I were not guilty of the same crime!  


So here I am, exactly one week later writing in my own journal, “If not now, when?” 


That statement suggests self-loathing for things that are yet undone.  It does nothing to recognize the  things I have done and the progress I am making. 


I just, I mean just, finished launching our new IMPLEMENTATION Monthly Mastermind.  I had been wanting to launch IMM for over a year and had to overcome my own resistance and even learn new technology to make it happen.  We had exceeded my goal of 20 advisors in the first month by 50%!  We had our first call and it was everything I had hoped the Mastermind would be! 


And here I am asking myself “If not now, when?” 


I too have fitness goals and have worked out more in the last three months than I have in years!  I now have a 3x week pilates schedule and a routine of an additional 2-3 workouts per month.  I haven’t done everything I want to do, but I have significantly improved my habits! 


And here I am asking myself “If not now, when?” 


I have had a long-term goal of someday owning a commercial office building.  On Tuesday we are putting in an offer on a building.  Who knows what will happen, these things are always complex, but I’m doing my part! 


And here I am asking myself “If not now, when?” 


This is the problem with high-achievers; we never let up.  We are incapable of stopping to smell the roses.  All we see is the next thing that needs done; the things we have left undone. 


If you were reading someone else’s blog, this drive might be seen as a pre-requisite for greatness.  But this is my blog and I know that it’s not.  It is a pre-requisite for unhappiness! 


We will never “get it done.”  There is no such thing.  Once we arrive, or maybe slightly before, we will be formulating our next move.   


I had to give myself a good talking to about this habit of self-loathing.  That is all it is.  It is a habit.  And the good news is that we can disrupt and replace habits! 


I challenge us all to be vigilant for this pattern of thought.  When you catch yourself seeing only what is left undone, stop!  List out the things you have done.  List out the habits you are working on. List out your wins.  


If we don’t find a new way to reach for our goals, we will be like so many successful people, high-achieving and unhappy!  And that my friends, is NOT true success! 


With Purpose and graditute,




Are you guilty of only seeing what is still undone?  I would love to hear from you!  Come join our free, advisor only, TIA Mastermind on Facebook and share your story! 




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