Last week we tackled the Fear of Failure and wrestled it into submission with premeditatio malorum.  This means meditating on what can go wrong in advance to defuse the emotional hold on us. 


This week I want to address the second most ubiquitous fear that financial advisors must face, Fear of Rejection.  We are going to unpack Fear of Rejection and actually replace it with a new, more productive fear that will drive us forward with purpose.


As a new financial advisor, you have to go out into the world with shaky confidence and motivate people to meet with you, trust you and eventually buy from you.  Most often, this means going to those closest to you, friends and family.


It is standard practice for firms to encourage/require new advisors to develop a Project 100 (100 names of people they know) or even 200.   After receiving enough sales training to be dangerous, advisors are sent out to meet with those 100-200 people and try to sell them something.


How scary is that!?  You have to go to everyone you know, who all know that you have little to no experience, and convince them that you are suddenly an expert they should trust with major financial decisions. And on top of that, you are encouraged to use guilt to get them to “support your new business.”


Once you have burned through your 100-200 names, you have to go out into the wild and find new bodies.  I use that term intentionally because my first firm called them “meat in the seat.”  The logic is that if you got enough meat in the seat, you would be able to sell enough to stay alive.  Inspiring, isn’t it!?


Given this backdrop, is it any surprise that you feel a deep-seated Fear of Rejection?  Everyone knows you are a newbie, and the stink is coming off you in waves.  Everyone knows you are going to try to pitch them something.  And when they say “No,” it indicates to you that they see the truth and that you are a fraud.  Not good enough.  Not worthy of trust.


Are you feeling it?  That sinking Fear of Rejection?  I am feeling it just writing this!


Now, let me tell you how we are going to flip the script on the Fear of Rejection.  It’s possible, and you will never be afraid of “No” again when you successfully do it!


Let’s start with the underlying premise that your prospects think they know.  They think you don’t know what you are doing yet and that you are going to try to sell them a product.  They are on guard and have their defenses up.


The way we defuse the first premise is to rely on a proven planning process that creates space to get the answers you don’t yet have.  You aren’t going to pitch them anything.  You are going to offer to take them through an Advice-based Financial Planning process step-by-step to uncover their needs and use your resources to find optimal solutions for their challenges.


They KNOW you don’t KNOW! 


Instead of trying to have all the answers, all you need to know are the questions.   If you want to show up in the marketplace with confidence, you need to have a process you believe in and the resources to fully implement that process over time.  If you have those things, then that stink of inexperience dissipates.   The process reveals the needs, and your firm/team/senior advisors can help you find solutions.


Now that you have a process you believe in, let’s talk about the belief that you will try to “sell” them something.  You know it, they know it, and they are ready with “objections” that you are trained to overcome! 


Doesn’t that create a dysfunctional dynamic?  You are silent adversaries pretending to have a civil conversation—defenses up and weapons at the ready.


What if you don’t try to sell them something?  What would happen if you approached each meeting with a prospect as a sincere act of service?


What if you could say, in absolute alignment, that meeting with you will improve their financial lives, whether or not you end up working together in the long run?  What if YOU believed that?  How would that change the way you feel about prospecting and initial meetings?


Let’s make prospecting an act of service.


The key to feeling fantastic about prospecting is to know that you have a high-value, emotionally significant initial meeting that will positively impact every person who experiences it.


There are many ways to create this kind of high-value, emotionally significant initial meeting, but I will describe mine for ease. 


The Discovery EXPERIENCE starts with an exploration of fears and values.  It moves on to clarifying the prospect’s goals and understanding the resources they currently have.  It culminates in a written summary of the Next Steps for the prospect to consider in order to improve their financial life.


It’s free.  It’s meaningful.  It’s of service.  And when alignment is right, it creates the perfect environment to offer your services, whether that is advice or product.


Not a single person has ever left my office after a Discovery EXPERIENCE feeling like they have been pitched anything.  And when there is alignment, my “close rate” is near 100% because this is not about taking; it’s about serving.  And sometimes, the best way for you to serve them is for them to hire you to help them.


How would YOU feel about prospecting if you knew that every person who met with you would have a positive outcome?

How would YOU feel if you knew you had a proven planning process to offer the right prospects?

How would YOU feel if you knew that the prospect would leave feeling positive about you and more optimistic about their own financial lives?


YOU would feel amazing!  YOU would go out into the world with an audacity, on a mission to improve people’s lives.  YOU would have confidence that would come off you in waves!  And every potential prospect would feel it and respond positively to it!

But I don’t want to just make you feel good.  I want to help you uncover a deeper drive that will propel you out into the world to prospect with earnest.  Something that will make prospecting feel like your purpose work.


It comes down to one simple question.  What happens to your prospect if they don’t find you? 


Think about the impact of comprehensive financial planning on a family or individual.  What happens over the decades, or what doesn’t happen for them because they didn’t have your guidance?  What stresses do they endure because they didn’t have you as a guide?  What opportunities do they miss out on because they weren’t prepared?  How will their life be different, less, without you?


Let’s look at the impact on them if they work with the wrong “advisor.”  We have all seen the shoddy and borderline criminal work of advisors who only care about their paychecks.  What if they get one of those advisors who advises them to take out a HELOC to pay for 10’s of thousands of dollars of insurance premium each year?  What happens if they are told that these completely illiquid investments are safe and where they should invest the bulk of their money?


What happens to your prospect if they don’t find YOU!?


For lack of a better term, I am calling this Fear of Inefficacy.  Inefficacy is the “failure to produce the desired effect.”  If you believe in your process and have a high-value, emotionally significant initial experience, you KNOW that your prospect is better in your hands than anyone else’s. 


Replace the Fear of Rejection with a driving Fear of Inefficacy, and you will go from hiding in the back of the room to yelling from the rooftops! 


Fear is part of the financial advisor’s life.  I hope that between last week’s blog and this one, that you realize that you are in control of the role fear plays in your life.  Will Fear of Failure and Fear of Rejection flounder your practice or will Fear of Inefficacy drive you toward massive impact and success?  It’s your choice.


With Purpose,



To harness the power of the Fear of Inefficacy, you have to have your proven planning process and your high-value, emotionally significant initial experience.  You have to KNOW that these things serve everyone. 


If you aren’t there yet, we can get you there fast!  I created two courses, Delivering on the Promise and The Discovery EXPERIENCE, to do just that. 


In Delivering on the Promise, I share my Advice-based Financial Planning process and walk you through customizing your own.  You don’t have to learn by trial and error; you can harness a proven process and speed up your progression.


In The Discovery EXPERIENCE, I provide you with a turn-key process that anyone can quickly implement that will get you hired by the right clients in one meeting.  And most of all, you will have confidence that everyone you share it with will walk away better off because they met with you.


If you are ready to turn prospecting into your purpose work, check out my online courses HERE.




50% Complete

Two Step

Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua.